Mr and Mrs Malfoy
by xxShadowDragon2xx
Summary: Draco is a Death Eater, Hermione is a member of the Order of the Phoenix. They are forced to marry, which leads to lots of spying and lots of yumminess... :


Disclaimer: I'll write a funny disclaimer next chapter, I don't feel very witty at the current moment.

A/N- I know, I know- I should be updating Seduction of the Fittest, but…ANGEL'S SLACKING! There, passed the blame to someone else. /sigh of relief. But I'm really sorry about not updating the other one. I got inspiration to write this one last night when I couldn't sleep. Enjoy.

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Chapter 1- Mhmmm…

Hermione walked downstairs to find her parents whispering feverously to each other. She cleared her throat loudly, causing them to silence immediately. "You called me?" she asked politely, growing suspicious.

Her mother seemed to collect herself first. Taking a deep breath, she smiled and fixed her gaze on Hermione. "Yes, we have some very important…," she paused, looking for the right words, "things, to discuss with you." Hermione was becoming unnerved at her mother's unblinking gaze, so she turned to her father. His expression was, if possible, worse. He looked like he was trying to give a reassuring smile, but somewhere along the line it had deformed into a grimace. Hermione's eyebrow raise at their strange behavior as she sunk into the couch opposite to them.

"Firstly, let me apologize for this. I know you're not going to like it," her mother said slowly.

Hermione's eyes narrowed, "Did you run over Crookshanks?"

That seemed to snap her mother out of her trance-like state. "What? No, of course not. This is a bit more of a dilemma…," her mother paused again.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, just spit it out," Hermione said impatiently.

Her mother glared at her, "I'm trying to break it softly."

Hermione rolled her eyes at this, "Mother, no offense or anything, but if I told you half the things I've done at school, you'd never let me go back. I'm pretty sure I can handle whatever muggle dilemma there is."

"That's the thing- it's not a muggle dilemma."

"What?" Hermione asked, glancing at her father. He hadn't moved since the beginning of this conversation, she was starting to worry that he might have died or something.

"Fine, I'm just going to say it," her mother started, bringing Hermione's attention back to her, "I have a birthday present for you."

Hermione blinked, "A birthday present?" she sighed in relief, "I though it was going to be something horrible, the way you were going on."

"I didn't say you were going to like it."

"Oh, um…do I even want to know what it is?"

"Probably not."

"Ok, don't tell me. I've never believed it before but- ignorance is bliss," Hermione said as she stood to leave.

"Sit," this command came from her father. Well, at least he was still alive. Obediently, Hermione sat, "You're going to hear it now. So, deal with it."

Hermione folded her arms and grumbled under her breath. "You're betrothed to Draco Malfoy. There- it's said and done."

Hermione looked up from her pouting long enough to glare at her father, "That's not funny, you know. You shouldn't make up such ridiculous lies."

"I don't lie," he replied solemnly.

Damn, he had her there. Hermioine couldn't think of one time that he had ever lied, even when she wished he would. But then again…maybe he'd never been caught. Oh, he's good.

"Ok, then. How? I'm a muggle-born, how am I betrothed to a pureblood?" she asked, trying to catch them in their lie.

"You're not a muggle-born," her mother mumbled, looking away.

"…are you my real parents?" Hermione asked skeptically.

"I'm utterly confused," Hermione demanded, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I'm a Black and your father comes from an ancient wizard family," her mother stopped to take in Hermione's blank stare before she elaborated, "We're purebloods, which, in turn, makes you a pureblood."

Hermione's expression turned to one of doubt as she digested this information, "Hmm… I wonder then, why is it that I didn't see your picture on the Black family tree?"

Hermione smirked at her mother's shocked countenance, "When did you go there?" she asked in a shaking voice.

"Summer before fifth year," Hermione stated sweetly.

"Our informants tell us that it's the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix."

"You have informants?"

Her mother ignored her question, "Are you involved in the Order of the Phoenix?"

Hermione's smirk deepened, "There are some things, as a mother, that you never want to hear your child say- and I'm pretty sure that 'I'm a member of the top-secret organization dedicated to defeating the darkest, most-powerful wizard in the world,' is one of those things."

Mrs. Granger sunk down further into the couch and groaned, "Oh, my god." After a few moments, her body stiffened. Looking up at Hermione, she asked, "Have you seen him? The Dark Lord?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes suspiciously- only followers of Voldemort call him the Dark Lord. "I think that 'Yes, I've seen and fought Voldemort," her parents winced at the name, "several times' is another one of those things we just talked about. Anyways, are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" her father asked, since her mother seemed to have lost the ability to form coherent sentences.

"About your bloodlines."

"We already told you," he said slowly, enunciating every word.

"Then why didn't I see mom on the Black family tree?"

"Oh," her father laughed, "yes, well you wouldn't have. As you should recall, the Black family tree isn't exactly…whole."

Hermione vaguely remembered gaping black holes where members of the family had been burnt off. "Ahh…" was all she could say. Damn, they had her there. "So…are you positive that I'm betrothed to Draco Malfoy? THE Draco Malfoy?"

"Absolutely positive."

"So, how did this, er, awkward arrangement come about?"

"Well," her father began, stopping to clear his throat, "about that. You see…your mother and I…used to be…keep in mind USED to be…very supportive…of the Dark Lord," he finished uncomfortably.

"Let me see it," Hermione demanded calmly.

"See what?" her dad asked, bewildered.

"Your left arm, let me see it."

Her father sighed and raised his left sleeve above his elbow, "Why do you think we're not on the Black Family Tree?" he asked as he turned his arm to reveal his mark-free forearm. "We betrothed you to Draco when we were determined to become Death Eaters, but when the time came to actually get the mark, we freaked and ran. We've been hiding ever since."

"So, since your honor doesn't ride on me marrying the twit, why are you telling me I'm betrothed to him?"

"We signed a contract, which bound us to it. For some reason, Lucius called us on it and is not insisting that you and Draco wed."

"SCREW THE BLOODY CONTRACT! WHY THE HELL WOULD LUCIUS WANT ME IN THE FAMILY? I'M A MEMBER OF THE BLOODY FUCKING GOLDEN TRIO! HE KNOWS IT!"

"The contract bound you to it as well. It's not like the contract was merely a piece of paper," her father informed her, ignoring the second part of her rampage.

"Hmmm…" Hermione mumbled, deep in thought, "Why would Lucius call the contract? Very interesting… Is there any way out of it?"

"No, it's very dark, very old, and very powerful magic."

"How sure are you that there's no way out of it?"

"Take it from me," her mother said tiredly, "there's no way. I've tried."

Her dad smiled crookedly at her mother. "Your mother was just like you- the smartest witch of her year and extremely beautiful. We had been betrothed since birth, so she had a much longer time to find a way out of it. But she never did, thank Merlin. I was scared that she had a couple times. I wanted to marry her so badly. For her to be mine and only mine," by this time her parents were smiling tenderly at each other.

"Hello? Can we please focus on me for a little while?" Hermione asked impatiently, "I have a current crisis to deal with, not one from however many years ago. That was mildly disgusting, by the way."

Her mother laughed, "Just wait until people think you and Draco are disgusting."

"Mother, really, it already is disgusting," Hermione exclaimed as she stood and walked to the stairs.

Her mother laughed, "We're meeting up with the Malfoy family tonight, so prepare for the worst."

"Is Lucius going to be there?" Hermione asked hesitantly, pausing at the bottom.

"I'm assuming," her mother replied.

"Merlin, this is going to be bloody awkward," Hermione muttered as she started walking up the steps.

She made it up the first few steps before her mother called, "Why does Lucius being there make it any more awkward then it already was going to be?"

"Voldemort isn't the only I've fought a couple times," Hermione said, and at her mother's horrified expression added, "that's probably another one of those a mother never wants to hear, isn't it?"

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A/N- VOILA! There's the first chapter. It's kinda longish, hope you enjoy. Now, if you love me, you will review. I absolutely LOVE reviewers and if people don't review- I don't get inspired to write another chapter…(wink)

SURPRISE ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love-

Shadow


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